We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
try to milk me bitch
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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