My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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