someone threw a dead crab at me
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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