love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
