North Korea, Best Korea!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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