dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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