why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Randomize
