I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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