How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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