I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I licked your asshole in confidence.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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