so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
