if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
