whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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