I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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