lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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