I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize