i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
