Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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