I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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