i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i dont even know how to be here
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
