No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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