My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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