i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
