Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
