i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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