And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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