When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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