Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
