it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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