I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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