Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
