no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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