hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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