she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
