They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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