Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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