i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
