I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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