how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
