nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
