Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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