I wish life had little blips of pornography
do herpes really smell.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize