guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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