I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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