I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
