I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
