He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
