OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
