Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
