I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
