I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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