it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
