Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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