You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize