Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
