Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
