Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
