It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
