imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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