I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
