I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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