can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
