i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He shit in the fireplace
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize