I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
