Nicole vs. Life
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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