Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize