Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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