Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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